The fact that it has taken me this long to publish my first post is evidence of the need for this blog in my life. I have meant to many times of course…. and then my usual pattern of putting work and home tasks first kicked in and time for this (me!) got squeezed out. Notably, I am writing from my bed. On this Christmas Eve, I am putting this top of my list and completing it before I get out of bed (and tend to all that needs doing on this very special day)!!
I am not going to wait for January 1st to resolve to change….
So here’s a poem I penned quite a while ago (yes, my turbulent relationship with time that leaves me feeling impoverished has been ongoing for quite some time). It is my Christmas gift to myself, and to any who care to read it, to remind me of the importance of taking time in my life just for me. And contrary to popular teachings…. to do so is NOT a SELFISH act, but rather a very necessary act of SELF CARE!
My name is Paula Carroll, a 46 year old woman, a mother of 3, a wife of 15 years, one of 5 siblings, a daughter, a daughter-in-law, a sister-in-law, an aunt to 11 nieces and nephews, a teacher of 20 years …. and in many ways, living an ordinary, full and modern life and all that that entails in 2023. I recognise that I have soooooo much to be grateful for, and yet I live with the burden of an overactive mind that creates, probably thousands, of unnecessary thoughts on a daily basis that impacts upon my capacity to FEEL gratitude for my LIFE and just about anything else.
So this blog is a gentle reminder to myself that I am a human BEING and not a human DOING, and that in order to BE, I must pause from DOING.
It is my hearts desire to reside more frequently in the space in between my thoughts and tasks; to meet myself there and BE. Many authors have written about the creative process as a means to connect with oneself, and for me, I am drawn to writing when seeking creativity and connection. I’m choosing to blog and make my writing public because I’m pretty sure that I am not the only person on the planet struggling to navigate my way to ‘the space in between’ the business of my mind and life. So maybe others may take something from my journey to help them with theirs…..
So to begin, I’ll remind myself of a powerful truth sung by Leonard Cohen….
"A crack in everything is how the light gets in."
Here’s to wedging a ‘crack’ between thinking and doing and seeing what light may shine in ‘the space in between’.
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Thank you so Much Paula. Really great to be reading you here in this space. Look forward to more and more. Yes thank you so much. Lorcan
This is starting off as a great journey into the present moment Paula, well done to you sharing your quest with all your following. Yes Lorcan I will also look forward to more and more.