Many moons ago I attended a course, one of the learning outcomes of which was to ‘identify, own and feel ones feelings‘. I really didn’t know what to make of this. Surely this was too easy? What was the catch? …. I turned out to be the catch.
Anyway, while somewhat of a slow learner stuck in seemingly perpetual numbness, I did manage to achieve the said learning outcome. And it has turned out to be possibly the most important of my whole life.
In a recent writing workshop hosted by StoryCentre, I was given a writing prompt and this is what happened. It’s a short poem that depicts how I honor my felt experience and I offer this to others endeavoring to do the same for themselves.
There is no explosive burst
or theatrical awe inspiring event
of Mother Nature revealing her power
to overcome man made resistance.
Rather the damn is slowly, quietly,
And drip by drip
the hard stone within is
In silent breathing.
In tending the earth.
In quiet contemplation.
In solitude and in kinship
comes conscious connection.
And the valve is opened
to release the drip.
The drip, the trickle, the stream,
the unstoppable river.
Enough for now.
The valve closes.
The hand is mine.
As the stone wears
the space behind is revealed.
And the light comes through.
Beyond the damn
the river goes on.
As she does.
And carries me home.
My name is Paula Carroll, a 46 year old woman, a mother of 3, a wife of 15 years, one of 5 siblings, a daughter, a daughter-in-law, a sister-in-law, an aunt to 11 nieces and nephews, a teacher of 20 years …. and in many ways, living an ordinary, full and modern life and all that that entails in 2023. I recognise that I have soooooo much to be grateful for, and yet I live with the burden of an overactive mind that creates, probably thousands, of unnecessary thoughts on a daily basis that impacts upon my capacity to FEEL gratitude for my LIFE and just about anything else.
So this blog is a gentle reminder to myself that I am a human BEING and not a human DOING, and that in order to BE, I must pause from DOING.
It is my hearts desire to reside more frequently in the space in between my thoughts and tasks; to meet myself there and BE. Many authors have written about the creative process as a means to connect with oneself, and for me, I am drawn to writing when seeking creativity and connection. I’m choosing to blog and make my writing public because I’m pretty sure that I am not the only person on the planet struggling to navigate my way to ‘the space in between’ the business of my mind and life. So maybe others may take something from my journey to help them with theirs…..
So to begin, I’ll remind myself of a powerful truth sung by Leonard Cohen….
"A crack in everything is how the light gets in."
Here’s to wedging a ‘crack’ between thinking and doing and seeing what light may shine in ‘the space in between’.
View all posts by The Space Inbetween